"Nukie" is Not a Glowing Example of Filmmaking

“Nukie” contains a talking monkey, a nun, and people in rubber alien suits. These elements would normally gel quite nicely into a fantastic film, however, in the case of this 1988 film, they do not. Perhaps an elephant that shoots lasers from it’s eyes or a boxing kangaroo is all “Nukie” needed to rise above the mediocrity into which it falls. I usually champion crazy, low-budget, bad movies from the 1970’s and 1980’s. “Nukie,” unfortunately, is bad in the most common sense of the word.

An alien named Nukie and his brother, Miko, crash land on Earth. Nukie lands in Africa and Miko ends up at the facilities of what is known in the film as “Space Foundation” in Florida. Miko becomes the subject of study by scientists at the Space Foundation while Nukie is befriended by two brothers, Tiko and Toki (Siphiwe and Sipho Mlangeni), who are apparently members of an African warrior tribe. When it is discovered that something strange involving aliens is occurring, Dr. Eric Harvey (Steve Railsback) is sent to Africa to investigate. What Dr. Harvey discovers is that “Nukie” does not have any of the bad movie charm as do classic fun bad movies like “Samurai Cop,” “R.O.T.O.R,” “The Room,” “Birdemic,“ “Mac and Me,” or “Blood Freak.” Dr. Harvey is amazed at the lack of anything terribly interesting or amusing in the film. The acting in “Nukie” is not very good, but it is not horrifically fun as some of the performances found in “The Room” or “Samurai Cop.” Steve Railsback is uncharacteristically restrained in “Nukie.” In the 1978 film, “The Stunt Man,” he played every scene with an unflinching intensity which was a bit distracting. He played his role in Brian Trenchard-Smith’s 1982 film, “Turkey Shoot” in much the same way. Whenever I watch a Steve Railsback film, I plan on sitting a few extra feet away from the screen because I know there is a very strong possibility that his intensity may cause him to fall out of the screen into my living room. Railsback does not have as much screen time in “Nukie” as does the titular alien or his brother. This is a case in which I would have preferred to see more Railsback and less Nukie. Nukie is a rather boring alien creation and Miko is no better. They do not look goofy enough, just rubbery and dull, like bad pizza crust. I was talked into buying a vhs copy of this movie from a trailer I saw online somewhere, probably on You Tube. It was not expensive, thankfully. It was worth the 95 minutes I spent watching it to learn of it’s lack of delivering on a promisingly bad trailer, that is, the trailer made it look like the film would be marvelously horrible. Alas, “Nukie” is just bad, not fun bad. Not even Joel, Mike, or the bots could find much to laugh at with this one. The vhs sales marketing flier pictured below is more interesting than the film. Wait a minute!! "Nukie" does have "broad audience appeal" and it features Ronald France from "Sanna." Maybe I should reconsider what I have written thusfar.

The talking monkey did have some promise, or at least, the idea of a talking monkey held promise, however, as written, the talking monkey does not deliver much in the way of entertaining badness. “Nukie” is as flat as a pancake and does not even have any blueberries in it or any syrup on it and it’s not even fluffy. “Nukie” is not quite a bomb, but it does fizzle out.