A Welcome Return

“The Muppets” is a great homage to the beloved Jim Henson creations which gained their highest popularity in the 1970’s and 80’s. The great thing about the new film, “The Muppets,” is that it knows that it’s greatest popularity has already been reached. I feel that “The Muppets” is not trying to reestablish popularity in the days of You Tube (which I admit is way cool), Kardashians and so many other means of instant gratification and diversion. “The Muppets” is an almost tear-jerking acknowledgment that Henson’s creations meant a lot to people of a particular generation and that that amount of popularity will never be seen again because times have changed. It is a bit sad, however, throughout the film are reminders of why the Muppets were so successful. They appealed, not only to kids, but also, to parents. The humor in any given episode of The Muppet Show or any of their first three films was always clever and well-written. There was not a sense that Henson and his crew were dumbing anything down for an attention deficient or uneducated audience. I would love for the Muppets to regain the popularity they had when I was a child, however, I believe the sad reality is that our society is not capable of embracing the genius and wit of the Muppets.
“The Muppets” tells the tale of Gary (Jason Segal), his girlfriend, Mary (Amy Adams) and Gary’s brother, Walter, a new Muppet creation. Walter is a very welcome addition to the Muppet pantheon. Walter is a likeable Muppet. The trio take a trip to Los Angeles to visit Muppet Studios, former home of the Muppets in their halcyon days. Once there, the trio discover that Muppet Studios is abandoned and that only cheapjack tours led by a bored tour guide (Alan Arkin) are available. They seek out Kermit , whom they convince to embark on a cross-country trip to get the Muppets back together so as to put on a telethon to raise the $10 million necessary to save Muppet Studios from the evil Tex Richman (Chris Cooper). Richman wants to tear down Muppet Studios and drill for oil on that land.
There is a nice belt in the face to modern culture in “The Muppets,” as the 2 hour telethon that Kermit and the gang produce to save Muppet Studios from Tex Richman (Chris Cooper), is allowed on the air only because the normally aired episode of Punch Teacher had encountered a snafu. Yes, Punch Teacher. The makers of “The Muppets” get it, meaning that they seem to understand that their film is more of a nostalgia trip than a possible reboot of a franchise. It does help that “The Muppets” is an outstanding film, reminiscent of the original 1979 film, “The Muppet Movie.” There are even some nice homages to that film such as Sweetums chasing after the rest of the Muppet gang at one point and a very nice rendition of “The Rainbow Connection” by Kermit with help from Miss Piggy. I know it may not make much sense to say that “The Muppets” does not aspire to become the next big movie franchise like Harry Potter, Pirates of the Carribean, or Twilight (…..yeah…..), but I did not get that sense from the film. As I have mentioned, “The Muppets” feels more like an appreciation by a group of actors of Jim Henson’s creations. “The Muppets” stars and was co-written by Jason Segal from “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” and the tv series, “How I Met Your Mother.” It was co-written by Nicholas Stoller, director of “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” It seems that the two have collaborated out of obvious love and appreciation for Kermit and his friends. This is another reason why the film does not feel like a rebooting of or the beginning of a film franchise. I think Segal and Stoller simply wanted to create a loving celebration and appreciation of the Muppets. Unless “The Muppets” makes a lot of cash, I would be surprised to see Disney make another Muppet film anytime soon. Of course, in Hollywood, anything is possible. When is The Fall Guy movie coming out, or perhaps a B.J. and the Bear movie? Sheriff Lobo perhaps…..hmmmmm?
I had only a few issues with “The Muppets.” One song about “being alone” performed by Amy Adams in a diner is cringingly bad and I did not care for the name of the evil oil baron being Tex Richman (Cooper). Isn’t the stereotype of the rich asshole from Texas played out by now? I am from Texas and I have never been rich nor an oil baron. More thought could have been put into Chris Cooper’s character, including not calling him “Tex.”
It is obvious that all involved in “The Muppets” share a love for the subjects of the film. I watched Sesame Street, The Muppet Show, and the first three Muppet movies frequently as a child. I understand the feelings of nostalgia on display in the film. Unless Jason Segal or someone from Disney tells me otherwise, though, I maintain that “The Muppets” is a grand homage and thank you letter to Jim Henson for his creations and not the beginning of a new set of films. I would be more than happy to be wrong about this though. As long as any future Muppet movies are as good as this one, I kind of hope there will be more.

This Post Does Not Ocelot of Money

Does anyone give a shit that Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant? This picture of an ocelot is more interesting.

Try to Get a Handle On It

A good exploitation film delivers exciting action scenes, interesting locations, and some nice nudity. I think Roger Corman once said something like this, though not exactly in these words. The 1977 film, “Too Hot to Handle,” offers all three. It is filmed in Manila, Philippines and looks very nice on the new Shout Factory dvd entitled, “Roger Corman’s Cult Classics Lethal Ladies Collection.” The set also includes a film I am looking forward to watching, “Firecracker,” and “TNT Jackson.”
In “Too Hot to Handle,” Cheri Cafaro, star of the “Ginger” films of the early 70’s, plays Samantha Fox, an organized and efficient assassin. She is dispatched to Manila to dispose of three people who are bad, bad, bad. The extent of their badness is not described at length in the film, however, it is enough to know that they are bad enough to warrant the talents of Samantha Fox to exterminate them. It does help that we know that the people she is hired to hit are bad people who, it turns out, also had something to do with the death of her father. Knowing that she is single-handedly dispatching of these evil folks makes Samantha even more likable than she is already. I was pleasantly surprised to find that Cheri Cafaro plays her character as an intelligent, strong, and cunning female. I am very glad that Samantha Fox was not played as a dimwit dumb blonde who needs the help of a strong man. Samantha is completely independent.
The Manila chief of police, Domingo de la Torres (Aharon Ipale), gets involved in the investigation after the first of Samantha’s hits, McKenzie Portman (John Van Dreelen) is found dead after he invites her to his home to engage in a little bit of bondage fun. Chief de la Torres is quickly able to determine the Portman’s assassin was female. His reasoning does make sense, even though it might seem unlikely to do so. I liked that the character of Chief de la Torres is played as an intelligent investigator. Both Samantha Fox and Chief de la Torres use each other for sex along the way, however, it is clearly a mutual relationship. Samantha is a strong woman and would not allow him to mistreat her.
Samantha’s second hit, Justin Stockwell (Jordan Rosengarten),one of the biggest douchebag assholes the screen has ever seen, is disposed of in a particularly interesting and cunning fashion. One of the highlights of this film, which may easily be overlooked, is the great makeup job on Cheri Cafaro in this scene. I liked that the third of Samantha’s hits is a woman, meaning the film avoids a simplistic male vs. female storyline.
The music in the film is comprised of a great, groovy score, however, the song heard during the film’s main sex scene is pretty bad. The song is called, “Lady Samantha.” It will make you cringe. As I mentioned, though, the score throughout most of the film is great, especially during the last five minutes of the film. Great stuff it is!
“Too Hot to Handle” feels like an R-rated episode of “Hawaii Five-O”—the old version, of course. That is a very good thing. Scenes take their time to play out and the progression of scenes is well structured and well paced. Of course, it is not award winning material, but it does quite well what it intends to do---entertain. Cheri Cafaro is naked a lot, bad guys and a gal get whacked, lots of cool shots of Manila are shown, and asses get kicked. Put on your oven mitts because Cheri Cafaro is definitely too hot to handle!

Everyone's a Winner with Hesher

I wish I had a cool guitar riff play after I say something. There is a scene at the beginning of “Hesher” in which Hesher (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) says something to T.J. Forney (Devin Brochu) and after Hesher has spoken, a nice guitar riff is heard. That occurs in the first five minutes of Spencer Susser’s film about a boy of about 14 years who is, in a strange way, befriended by a long-haired stoner guy whose name turns out to be Hesher. We do not know a whole lot about Hesher, and throughout the course of the film, we never learn much of anything about him. That is ok with me because it works. Hesher moves into the house of T.J. and his father, Paul, (Rainn Wilson) without permission. Paul does not put up any resistance. Paul and his son are recovering from the recent loss of his wife and T.J’s mother. Hesher’s presence in their lives acts as a strangely interesting antidote for their issues. Add to this, T.J’s crush on a grocery store cashier named Nicole (Natalie Portman). Though she does not necessarily act as any kind guiding light in T.J’s life, she does add an additional bit of charm to the film.
“Hesher” is one of those cool films in which things just happen randomly, exactly like the narrative structure of most of what I write. In the case of “Hesher,” there appears to be some rationale to the random events that occur. Hesher, though uncouth, vulgar, and of questionable odor, proves to be the person, or maybe the force that T.J. and his father need to fully recover from their loss. Grief counseling sessions do not seem to help a great deal. T.J. is constantly bullied by Dustin (Brendan Hill) a young man who almost reaches the level of vulgarity of which Hesher is quite the master. Hesher eventually helps T.J. get back at Dustin in an unconventional, though fulfulling way. Thankfully, this event is not treated as family film fodder as T.J. is not as happy with Hesher’s handiwork as Hesher is. The structure of “Hesher” is like a series of vignettes which are linear and serve to document the process through which T.J. and his father are able to deal with and accept the situation in which their lives exist. One may debate whether or not Hesher is supposed to be a representation of Christ, a foul-mouthed Christ, but who serves the same purpose---the purpose of guidance through trying times in one’s life. Of course, Hesher may also be just some random guy who shows up in their lives and distracts them from their grief for a while. Who Hesher is is never stated, and I liked that. His purpose in the lives of T.J. and his father, however, is clear.
I liked the film quite a bit with only a few exceptions. About an hour in, something happens in the film which is a bit of a movie cliché. Wow, Microsoft Word just automatically added the tilde over the “e” in cliché! It did it again! I was going to just leave it as is. Sometimes stuff like that just happens…..
Anyway, something happens midway through “Hesher” which is cliché. I wish it had not happened, solely because what happened was a cliché. As well, the ending, though fulfilling, is comprised of a bit too much “end of movie speech-ness.” Those who have seen a lot of movies will likely know what I mean by this. Basically, at the end of the film, one of the main characters shows up to make a speech telling us what the point of the film is and how we should feel. I only say this as a way of defining “end of movie speech-ness.” In “Hesher,” we get this, however, it is not inflicted with this malady too badly and as I mentioned, the overall result of the final twenty minutes of the film is very effective and well done.
All of the performances in “Hesher” are great, especially Levitt, Wilson, Brochu, and Piper Laurie as T.J’s grandmother. “Hesher” is a vulgar feel-good movie. I did not expect to “feel good” at the film’s conclusion, however, the message that director Susser conveys is clear.
I enjoyed the ditty Hesher tells T.J. and Nicole in his van about the four women with whom he once shared……an experience. See this film and you will enjoy this tale as well. Remember, everyone’s a winner.

How Are They Gonna Steal an Entire Building? It Appears to Be Quite Heavy and Unable to Fit in My Pocket.

First of all, I hope you enjoy the picture of the otter showing us her baby. I thought a picture of a tall building would be a bit dull. Anyway, I was looking forward to seeing “Tower Heist,” however, I did not expect to be bowled over by it’s genius or complex storytelling. I was correct in my assumption. “Tower Heist” is a good, pleasant film. What propels the film is the performances of four actors: Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Matthew Broderick, and Alan Alda. All four deliver very good performances. Without these fine actors’ performances, “Tower Heist” could have been very mediocre. The story is nothing new. Disgruntled employees plan a way to get back at their unscrupulous boss. In this case, the unscrupulousness of the boss, Arthur Shaw (Alda), is more than calling his employees names or making them work long hours. Shaw has embezzled his employees’ money in something similar to a Ponzi scheme. Josh Kovacs (Stiller), Shaw’s trusted assistant and manager of Shaw’s apartment building in New York City, cannot believe, at first that Shaw would have done such things. Upon learning that, indeed, Shaw is a malicious son of a bitch, Kovacs assembles a team of former Shaw employees to infiltrate the inner-workings of Shaw’s building so as to steal back their money. Along the way, Kovacs enlists the help of Slide (Murphy). Slide is a petty criminal who is bailed out of jail by Kovacs. Slide is to be the experienced theft expert of the team, however, his expertise is discovered to be limited to small-time thefts and not massive heists. That’s ok, though, because Kovacs’ team is good enough as it is to, through various machinations of scriptwriting, perform a massive undertaking which, as you will see if you watch this film, is quite ridiculous, however, since a majority of the performers in the film do a great job, I found myself not minding the fact that what the team ends up doing is quite impossible, at least in the non-movie world.
Eddie Murphy stands out as Slide. His dialogue is the vulgar and funny variety we remember from his roles in "48 Hours" and "Beverly Hills Cop." Thankfully for us all, he does not wear a fat suit or dress as a woman in this film. He says lots of dirty words and is crass. This is great news! Murphy is given a chance to be funny in “Tower Heist” and he succeeds. It was wonderful to see Ben Stiller in a role in which he is not humiliated 30 times during the course of the film. Stiller is an outstanding comedic actor as can be witnessed in “Flirting With Disaster” and “Greenberg.” Though he is not given any over the top dialogue as is Murphy, Stiller does deliver his understated, funny lines with the ease and grace one would expect from a standout Stiller performance. Alan Alda is fantastic as the bastard, Arthur Shaw. It is always great to see Alan Alda in a film and such is the case in “Tower Heist.” Alda is fully capable of playing mean and slimy—and it is even more effective to use Alda in such a role because most know his characters to be easygoing. Of course, if you remember his role of Hawkeye on MASH, it is clear that his ability to deliver sarcasm and his ability to perform on a dramatic level are on display. In “Whispers in the Dark,” Alda surprises us with quite a scene of insane bravura that I will always remember. That film is not very good, however, as he does in most films in which he appears, Alda stood out.
Matthew Broderick, always a reliable performer, delvers a very good performance as a down on his luck stockbroker who is threatened with eviction from his luxury apartment in the Shaw building. His role in the heist is as the one who can fully point out just how much money Shaw has stolen. Broderick, as he did in “Election,” delivers his lines with fantastic comic nervousness. Gabourey Sidibe, who gained notoriety from her performance in “Precious” is the only source of complaint I have about “Tower Heist.” She did not seem to fit in with the rest of the heist team. Her appearance in the film seemed more like stunt casting. I never bought her performance as a Jamaican safecracker,mon.
I feel compelled to point out that I was very happy to find that there were few car crashes, explosions, shootouts, or other assorted and unnecessary action movie cliches in "Tower Heist." There is a brief car chase scene, but, as I stated, it thankfully does not take long to resolve.
I will not reveal how the plan the team of heisters has in store for the evil Arthur Shaw develops, however, as I alluded to, it is quite ridiculous. Regardless of the ridiculousness of the plan, the cast of “Tower Heist” is engaging enough to allow me to not be distracted by said plan. “Tower Heist” does not reach the top story of flim genius, however it does climb a few floors above the midway point of the filmmaking edifice.

What Do Green Erasers Tell Us About Ourselves and Further, What Do We Tell Ourselves About Green Erasers?

The opening theme heard in Aldo Lado’s “The Humanoid” is very nice. The score, written by Ennio Morricone, is unique and only once sounds like an already known piece of music. There is one bit of orchestration that sounds like Beethoven’s Ode to Joy. I will let that pass, as I do not know if it is an intentional nod to that piece of music or not.
First of all, up front I will acknowledge that “The Humanoid” is an intentional rip-off of “Star Wars.” Released in 1979, it does not try to hide it’s knock-off status in any way. The villain looks like Darth Vader---actually, the villain looks more like Rick Moranis’ character, Dark Helmet, in “Spaceballs.” In “The Humanoid,” we can see the villain’s face as he wears what looks like an oversized hardhat with a hint of a mask covering his face, but not so much that we cannot see the actor. I wonder if Mel Brooks ever saw “The Humanoid” and thought that this look would suit Dark Helmet in his 1987 film. We do know that Mel Brooks is extra cool simply for the fact that he produced David Lynch’s first studio film, “The Elephant Man” in 1980. Brooks must have seen Lynch’s genius in “Eraserhead,” and took from that picture the fact that Lynch was an outstanding filmmaker.
Richard Kiel plays the humanoid in question in “The Humanoid.” Kiel is best known as Jaws from two James Bond films, “The Spy Who Loved Me” and “Moonraker.” Kiel is 7 feet, 2 inches tall, however his height is only mentioned one time in the film and it is not exploited for humorous effect at any point in the film, which is refreshing. Tall vs. short humor rarely works and is quite a tired form of humor. One fun thing about “The Humanoid” is the fact that Richard Kiel’s character, Golob, speaks in his normal voice for the first 15 minutes of the film. He is also bearded. The reason why Golob ceases speech after 15 minutes is because Lord Graal (the guy dressed a bit like Darth Vader) wants to create a race of humanoids to perform various bits of malfeasance upon the world. Graal enlists the assistance of Dr. Kraspin (Arthur Kennedy) to create a rocket which, when coming into contact with a normal human, will transform said human into a robotic, speechless being, or humanoid. Richard Kiel does not give the greatest performance during the first 15 minutes. His delivery is not very good and he is very unnatural. Despite this, I could not help but like his character and his robot dog pal who travels with him in his spaceship before he is shot down by the evil Graal and soon thereafter lands in a body of water which not only turns Golob into a “humanoid,” but always provides Golob with a nice shave in the process.
Barbara Bach is also in this film! She is always a welcome addition to any film. Her beauty in this film, however, is somewhat masked by the two costumes she wears in the film. During the first half of the film her hair looks like that puffy stuff that the hood of a winter coat is made out of. It looks like a very big version of that puffy stuff. It almost looks like she is wearing a large hood, but it turns out it is her hair. She looks like she is wearing an eagle around her head. This is not the best look for her, but she is still hot. In the second half of the film, she wears what looks like a bicycle helmet. The decision of the makers of The Humanoid to not allow Barbara Bach’s gorgeous hair to appear in a natural style for 1979, knocks the star rating of this film down by one full star. It may be of some interest that Barbara Bach was the “Bond Girl” in “The Spy Who Loved Me,” the first Bond film in which Richard Kiel (Golob) appeared. Maybe you don’t care about such things. I do. If you do not, so be it.
Once the plot is established about an evil lord in space enlisting the aid of an equally mad doctor so as to create “humanoids” for nefarious purposes, the film weaves a fairly entertaining tale of the humanoid and his companions, Barbara Gibson (Corrine Clery) and a young Asian boy named Tom Tom (yeah, I know…), whose relationship to Barbara is not established, or if it was I was not paying attention as I may have been too distracted by Barbara Bach’s hair, in attempting to thwart the plans of the evil twosome. As Netflix might say, “If you liked ‘Star Crash,’ you may like ‘The Humanoid!’” If Netflix and it’s rating system made this statement, I would be in agreement. I liked “Star Crash.” I liked “The Humanoid.” “Star Crash” is better, or one might say, it is stranger and goofier, which, in turn, makes it better, meaning more fun to watch, than “The Humanoid.” Should you ever find it or get a chance to see it, let Barbara Bach’s hair wash over you as you enjoy “The Humanoid.” I know that as long as there is corn in the fields and lead in the pencil, I will never allow the memory of "The Humanoid" to be erased from my mind. And that's One to Grow On!