Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Night They Raided Kinski's



The fact that Klaus Kinski is in a given movie makes that film instantly watchable. Such was my mentality as I began watching the 1986 film, "Crawlspace." In a role unlike any other Kinski performance, he portrays a slightly insane man who appears to be at the edge of sanity. Kinski's Dr. Karl Gunther, in "Crawlspace," is a bit more subdued than his earlier performances in "Android," "Fitzcarraldo," and "Woyzeck." Those three films are magnificent, especially the Werner Herzog directed "Fitzcarraldo" and "Woyzeck."
Dr. Gunther is more reminiscent of Kinski's character in the 1980 slasher film, "Schizoid," in which he plays a psychiatrist. In "Crawlspace," Dr. Karl Gunther, a former head surgeon at the National Hospital in Argentina, has since become the landlord of a boarding house to young women. A boarding house for young women would never occur to me as the setting for a horror film. He will not rent out rooms to men. He would rather watch women through the air vents in their rooms rather than men, and, to be quite honest, I don't blame him. As one may expect, strange things are going on in this boarding house.
The lead female performance---the Adrienne King from Friday the 13th/Jamie Lee Curtis from Halloween---is supplied by Talia Balsam, daughter of the fine actor, Martin Balsam, who you may remember from "Breakfast at Tiffany's," "Catch-22," "The Anderson Tapes," or as Murray Klein, Archie Bunker's business partner on "Archie Bunker's Place."
Talia Balsam has appeared on several television programs including playing opposite her father on "Archie Bunker's Place" in a 1980 episode and has recently appeared on "Mad Men." In "Crawlspace," Balsam's character is named Lori. Being female, Lori is able to successfully procure a room in Dr. Gunther's boarding house. At least three other young women live in the boarding house, one of whom sings a terrible song, the title of which and any lyrics from I have successfully washed from my memory. I almost always love and appreciate the bad, awkwardly placed song in a low-budget movie, like in "The Alien Factor" or "Star Crystal," as that is like getting extra fries at the bottom of a McDonald's or Burger King bag. Unfortunately, this time, the song is so bad and the placement is so unromantic that it fails.
Despite this bad song, "Crawlspace" has a lot to offer. Aside from Kinski's performance which is, as usual, memorable, especially in a scene in which his character tears up as he is confronted with his father's past, the film features a woman, who at first I thought was a man, in a box-sized cage, mice, a cute kitty, and a line usually reserved for a porno film, "I think I'm about to come."
The last 15 minutes of the film slow down a bit as Kinski does not "act" as much in the final reel, inasmuch as he has to perform physically. I will always try to not give much away when discussing any given film, so I will abstain from any further mention of how the film concludes, other than my analysis that the conclusion is not as satisfying as what precedes it, something lots of men have certainly heard before.
In a Kinski film, I want to see him perform. For the first hour of the film, he certainly does so, and for this reason, not so much the plot of the film, which is not groundbreaking, especially by 1986, I recommend this film. "Crawlspace" is a film for a Klaus Kinski fan, not necessarily for a horror film fan. There are not enough surprises, gore effects, or anything else horror-related to make this film distinctive. Having said that, as I have established, if you enjoy watching Klaus Kinski perform, he does so enough in "Crawlspace" to make it worth watching. I give "Crawlspace" 3 out of 4 gray mice.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

By the End of This De-cade....



I have a goal. It is not a terribly inmpressive goal, however, it is one I intend to complete by the end of this summer, and if not then, then by the end of this de-cade. I have quite a few movies in my Netflix instant streaming queue. I have hand-selected 37 of these films which I intend to watch in the next 4 months. I feel I should be taking greater advantage of the instant streaming function of Netflix, especially since most of the movies in the "Harris 37" are not on dvd and some have never been released on vhs. So, now--here is the announcement the entire nation has been waiting for---I give you...................................The........................................................................................................................Harris 37!

1. Crawlspace—Klaus Kinski-1986
2. At Long Last Love-1975
3. Dogtooth-2010
4. The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With the Sea—1976
5. The Thing with Two Heads
6. Someone I Touched—TV movie-1975
7. The Lawyer—TV movie-1971
8. Brass—TV movie—1986
9. In Search of Historic Jesus
10. The 400 Blows
11. High Ballin’—1978
12. Keaton’s Cop
13. Citizen’s Band—1976
14. Deadhead Miles—1971
15. The Evictors—1979
16. The Man Who Fell to Earth—1986 TV movie remake
17. Bwana Devil
18. Disaster on the Coastliner—1979 TV movie
19. And Your Name is Jonah—1979 TV movie
20. Act of Vengence—1974
21. The Norseman—1978-Lee Majors
22. Arabian Nights—1974—Pier Paolo Pasolini
23. The Virgin Spring
24. Octaman—1972
25. Tokyo Gore Police
26. Trust—1990
27. Steppenwolf—1974
28. The Capture of Bigfoot—1979-Bill Rebane
29. Monster Camp—2007 doc.
30. Johnny Got His Gun—1971
31. Porcile—1969—Pier Paolo Pasolini
32. Oedipus Rex—1967—Pier Paolo Pasolini
33. New Year’s Evil—1980
34. Golden Needles—1974—Joe Don Baker
35. The House of God—1980
36. R.O.T.O.R.—1988
37. Popcorn—1991

Monday, April 25, 2011

A Record


I like this. It is the back of the "The Way I Feel" album by Leonard Nimoy. I like his version of "If I Had a Hammer." Wouldn't you love making love to Leonard Nimoy?

Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Table Which is Periodic


If you have been interested in taking a fun and educational (Funducational?) quiz about the Periodic Table, you have come to the right place. The following is the home version of the quiz, however, unfortunately, I was not able to include any game pieces or dice. You may submit your answers, should you choose to take this quiz, in this post's comments section at the end of this post.

1. Ca

a. Carbon
b. Carbonite
c. Californium
d. Calcium

2. V

a. Vulcanium
b. Vulvan
c. Vanadium
d. Tungsten

3. Au

a. Silver
b. Gold
c. Augustinium
d. Argon

4. B

a. Beryllium
b. Boron
c. Bauxite
d. Bostonium

5. W

a. Tungsten
b. Latinum
c. Gallium
d. Welldun

6. He

a. Hydrogen
b. Hexagon
c. Iron
d. Helium

7. K

a. Keratin
b. Potassium
c. Krypton
d. Carbonite

8. Kr

a. Krylon
b. Krypton
c. Karanon
d. Kryllium

9. Zn

a. Zirconium
b. Zinc
c. Zenon
d. Zaxxon

10. Cf

a. Calphalon
b. Caflourite
c. Cesium
d. Californium

11. C

a. Calgon
b. Cesium
c. Cabron
d. Carbon

12. Ti

a. Tin
b. Titian
c. Titanium
d. Tholian

13. Sb

a. Sulfur
b. Lead
c. Antimony
d. Uranium

14. Ra

a. Radon
b. Radium
c. Nickel
d. Rikernium

15. I

a. Isisnium
b. Iodine
c. Iridium
d. Illennium

16. Bi

a. Bismuth
b. Byzantine
c. Binine
d. Bentonine

17. As

a. Assimilatium
b. Antietam
c. Arsenic
d. Asantium

The 2011 Rutgers Epistemology Conference


Don't miss out! The 2011 Rutgers Epistemology Conference will take place May 6-7, 2011. It will take place through the Rutgers School of Arts and Sciences Department of Philosophy.
Sessions include "Intuitions and Experiments" on May 6 and "Should Reliabilists Be Worried About Demon Worlds?" on May 7.
If you or any reliabilist you know are worried about demon worlds, maybe the lady pictured in this post can help out. I believe her to be extremely epistemic---plus she has a harpoon.

Rubber


I very much enjoyed the film, "Rubber." It was directed by Quentin Dupieux, who, through a friend of mine, I found out is also a composer, is also known as Mr. Oizo and is responsible for Steak. I like him already. I love steak, preferably well-done with a side of broccoli and mashed potatoes.
His film, "Rubber," is not what I expected. Going in, I thought it was simply going to be about the exploits of a killer tire. I figured the requisite amount of mayhem would ensue--people would be run over by a tire, some dumb teenagers would find themselves in trouble, and a tad bit of nudity would be seen. Only one of those things happens.
"Rubber" did not follow the course I thought it would take and for that I was pleased. In the first five minutes of the film, Dupieux establishes that his will be no ordinary film and that the rules of "Rubber" will be different from what is expected. I appreciate his desire to follow a refreshingly different course and the humor with which he lets the audience in on his line of thinking.
"Rubber" manages to follow this course throughout the entirety of the film and, thankfully, does not slow down an hour or so into the proceedings. Although it is about a killer tire, it retains a good-humored nature all the way through.
"Rubber" will be released on dvd in the US on June 7, according to Amazon.com. Buy or rent it then. Thanks to the previous work of Quentin Dupieux, you may enjoy a nice steak to go along with it.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011



Just for the hell of it, here is a picture of the HOT Terry Farrell who played Jadzia Dax on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

A Fun Quiz Freshly Baked In Our Ovens


Here is what is hopefully a fun Star Trek quiz. Don't worry--the questions are not all about "The Motion Picture." While it is regarded as one of the inferior Star Trek films, I readily admit that I liked it. You can submit your answers in the Comments section at the end of this post.


1. What is the name of Spock’s brother in Star Trek 5?
a. Sarek
b. Garak
c. Potok
d. Sybok

2. What is the name of Captain Archer’s dog on Enterprise?
a. Butters
b. Sybok
c. Arcos
d. Porthos

3. What alien race does Ilya from Star Trek-the Motion Picture belong to?
a. Cardassian
b. Deltan
c. Talaxian
d. Andorian

4. What practice does Ilya from Star Trek-the Motion Picture adhere to?
a. Vegetarianism
b. Telepathy
c. Atheism
d. Celibacy

5. Who did Jadzia Dax marry on Deep Space Nine?
a. Miles O’Brien
b. Geordi LaForge
c. Garak
d. Worf

6. What was Captain Sisko’s father’s name on Deep Space Nine
a. Jake
b. Brock
c. Joseph
d. Robert

7. What was Captain Sisko’s father’s profession?
a. Tailor
b. Doctor
c. Minister
d. Chef

8. What was 7 of 9’s human name?
a. Jennifer Ryan
b. Annika Hansen
c. Katherine Myers
d. Hannah Myerson

9. What 1979 detective show featured Voyager’s Kate Mulgrew (Capt. Janeway)
a. Starsky and Hutch
b. McMillan and Wife
c. Hawaii Five-O
d. Mrs. Columbo

10. What planet was Kes from Star Trek:Voyager from?
a. Ocampa
b. Kronos
c. Bajor
d. Hoth

11. What was Chekov’s first name?
a. Leonid
b. Anton
c. Dimitri
d. Pavel

12. Which doctor replaced Beverly Crusher for the second season of Star Trek: the Next Generation?
a. McIntyre
b. Welby
c. Pulaski
d. Bashir

13. What is the name of Spock’s mother?
a. Amanda
b. Katherine
c. Diana
d. Lydia

14. What was the name of Quark’s brother from Deep Space Nine?
a. Nog
b. Tron
c. Yoda
d. Rom

15. Who was the captain of the USS Defiant on Deep Space Nine?
a. Jake Sisko
b. Benjamin Sisko
c. Lando Calrissian
d. Mark Harris

16. What was the Cardassian name of Deep Space Nine?
a. Terok Nor
b. Gul Dukat
c. Elim Garak
d. Helio Cordor

17. What is the name of Worf’s son?
a. Benjamin
b. Matthew
c. Kahless
d. Alexander

18. What is Capt. Sisko’s favorite sport?
a. Basketball
b. Baseball
c. Football
d. Tennis

19. On Star Trek: Enterprise, what did Shran refer to human beings as?
a. Redskins
b. Dogs
c. Cannibals
d. Pinkskins

20. What alien race does Shran from Star Trek: Enterprise belong to?
a. Cardassian
b. Romulan
c. Jem’Hadar
d. Andorian

21. What late 70’s/early 80’s sitcom featured Deep Space Nine’s Rene Auberjonois?
a. The Jeffersons
b. Soap
c. Benson
d. One Day at a Time

22. On Deep Space Nine, what is the military arm of the Dominion called?
a. Jem’Hadar
b. The Kahless
c. The Sith
d. Ten Forward

23. What comedienne plays Guinan on Star Trek: the Next Generation
a. Wanda Sykes
b. Julia Louis-Dreyfuss
c. Whoopi Goldberg
d. Esther Rolle

24. Who is Guinan?
a. Chief Engineer on Voyager
b. Cardassian tailor on Deep Space Nine
c. Ship counselor on Picard’s Enterprise
d. Bartender in Ten Forward

25. Every 7 years, Vulcan males must endure…
a. T’Pol
b. Kahless
c. The Gik’Tal
d. Pon Farr

26. Which of these 1970’s tv shows did William Shatner not guest star on?
a. Hawaii Five-O
b. Columbo
c. Starsky and Hutch
d. Barnaby Jones

27. What is Chakotay’s ethnicity?
a. Japanese
b. Polish
c. American Indian
d. Filipino

28. Who was Chakotay’s ex-lover and member of the Maquis?
a. B’Elanna
b. Lava
c. Daxea
d. Seska

29. Which Star Trek: Voyager character was a Federation operative, spying on the Maquis?
a. Neelix
b. Tuvok
c. T’Pol
d. Tuvix

30. A used napkin from which Star Trek actor was given to Sheldon by Penny on The Big Bang Theory?
a. Leonard Nimoy
b. William Shatner
c. Patrick Stewart
d. Scott Bakula

31. What Klingon delicacy is essentially live worms?
a. Targ
b. Gik’Tal
c. Jak’Tahla
d. Gagh

32. The first Star Trek convention took place in 1972 in what city?
a. Los Angeles
b. San Francisco
c. London
d. New York City

33. The Bajoran spiritual leader featured on Deep Space Nine was:
a. Gul Dukat
b. Ezri Dax
c. Kai Winn
d. Elim Garak

34. Louise Fletcher, who played Kai Winn on Deep Space Nine, won an Academy Award in 1975 for which her performance in what film?
a. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
b. Network
c. Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore
d. Love and Death

35. What musical instrument was one of William Riker’s prized posessions?
a. Guitar
b. Violin
c. Trombone
d. Trumpet

36. What birthday gift did Dr. McCoy give to Admiral Kirk in Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan?
a. A vintage pocketwatch
b. A antique pair of reading glasses
c. An antique lamp
d. A vintage toaster

37. What character would Data sometimes play in the holodeck?
a. Tarzan
b. Mike Hammer
c. Hamlet
d. Sherlock Holmes

38. Which of the following characters was not a member of the Maquis?
a. Chakotay
b. B’Elana Torres
c. Tom Paris
d. Ro Laren

39. Who was Gul Dukat’s illegitimate daughter on Deep Space Nine?
a. Ro Laren
b. Guinan
c. Natima
d. Ziyal

40. Which of these is a Klingon weapon?
a. Gik’tal
b. Bat’leth
c. Ba’al
d. Phlox

41. Which species is known for their blue ale?
a. Romulan
b. Ferengi
c. Klingon
d. Cardassian

42. What is it called when you rub a Ferengi’s lobes and provide him with a sense of pleasure?
a. Dai-Mon
b. Umlaut
c. Aldi
d. Oo-Mox

43. What is the name of Dr. Beverly Crusher’s son?
a. Leonard
b. Daniel
c. Wesley
d. Matthew

44. Where is Starfleet headquarters located?
a. Seattle
b. San Francisco
c. Los Angeles
d. San Diego