Instant Streaming of Consciousness : A Special Report From Pocky

The dvd will eventually become obsolete. I am not going to argue against this eventual obsolescence or try to say that dvd’s should remain with us forever. Any form of physical media will, at some point, become obsolete, especially as technology rapidly improves upon itself. As we have reached the ability to stream movies and tv shows onto our televisions and computers, the dvd will, in likely 5-10 years, disappear. These facts are inevitable and represent the exciting progress of current technology. One problem exists, however. The disappearance of the audio commentary track will likely result. Let’s just get this clear first—I know there are lots of people who do not give a rat’s ass about listening to “some guy just talkin’ about stuff.” Well, I do. I don’t just give a rat’s ass, but I also give a monkey’s ass about them. Over 75 percent of the time, the information on these commentary tracks is outstanding. It is like getting two movies for the price of one. Sometimes a dvd has two commentary tracks. These audio tracks, usually from any combination of the director, writer, actor in the film provide a wealth of great information about the making of any given film. Fellow movie dorks will know what I am talking about and, perhaps enjoy listening to these tracks as much as I do. Unless these commentary tracks are offered as some sort of audio option through the streaming services, these tracks and the desire for film studios to produce such tracks will disappear. If this happens, they will be missed. It is not too grand a statement to say that commentary tracks provide a wonderful history lesson to the serious and to the casual film lover. The many great audio commentary tracks in existence range from Francis Ford Coppola (The Godfather Parts 1, 2, and 3, The Conversation, Apocalypse Now), Martin Scorsese (Last Temptation of Christ, Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore), Werner Herzog (Stroszek, the Enigma of Kasper Hauser, Fitzcarraldo, Grizzly Man), George Lucas (Star Wars) to directors, screenwriters, and actors from such niche films as C.H.U.D., Beyond the Door, Stunt Rock, Mother’s Day, Rituals, and even Malcolm McDowell and Helen Mirren discussing “Caligula” in two separate commentary tracks for that film. One of the best commentaries in existence is Roger Ebert’s very interesting track for “Citizen Kane.” Some of the dvds I own, I purchased simply because I thought the commentary track would be interesting. In most cases, I have been correct.
I fear that there will not be enough consumers in our population who notice that the commentary track option is not part of the streaming of a particular film on any of the online streaming services. Part of the appeal of first the laser disc in the early 1990’s and then the dvd in the late 1990’s was the fact that these discs allowed lots and lots of extra stuff to be included on that form of media. Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert extol the virtue of the laser disc on this 1989 Holiday Gift Guide episode of their show in this interesting clip: www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpQim1MiO9c. So now that we are progressing from any form of physical media at all to video being streamed through our video game console, tv, or smart phone (and again, I am not proposing an argument that this progression is bad—not at all), I simply am stating and hoping that, along with the large amount and variety of films and tv shows that are being made available to stream, I hope that, in time, the already existing, and perhaps some newly recorded audio commentary tracks, are available as well. The asses of both the rat and the monkey, for which I care so greatly, will be pleased.

I'll Say It Backwards and Forwards, Get Ready to Gear Up For R.O.T.O.R.

Seeing the 1988 film, R.O.T.O.R. was like meeting someone I, at first, did not think would be terribly interesting, only to find that I was completely wrong about my assumptions. R.O.T.O.R. is unique, unpretentious, tries hard, and is worthy of repeat visits. I did not expect much from this film, especially since the poster for this film is quite dull and does not promise anything terribly interesting. Most will say R.O.T.O.R. is a terrible, unpolished film. The unpolished part is correct, but I love unpolished films, especially ones set and filmed in Dallas, the city in which I live. The unpolished nature of R.O.T.O.R. is wonderfully on display all throughout, from bad dialogue looping, uncompromisingly 80’s music (especially one song called “Hideaway” which is heard near the midpoint of the film), awkward characters played by awkward looking people, the revelation in the end credits that most of the lead actors’ dialogue in the film was dubbed by different voice actors, and a main character who looks like former NBA star, Bill Walton. In one shaving scene, though, he looks a bit like current NBA great Dirk Nowitzki. Certainly you can already tell that once you press “play” from your Netflix streaming device, you will be well on your way to something very special.
I was not aware of the greatness into which I was about to be thrown. The story is straight-forward and, obviously borrows quite a bit from Robocop and The Terminator. In current-day Dallas, crime has apparently so overtaken the city that special forces or some such officer, Coldyron (the guy who looks like Bill Walton), played by Richard Gesswein, has developed a robotic police officer which can overpower and subdue the most vile of criminals. Apparently, only one of these has been built and it is called R.O.T.O.R. (Robotic Officer Tactical Operation Research). R.O.T.O.R. will not actually be fully ready for another 4-5 years, however, Coldyron’s boss, a bit of a prick named Greg Hutchins (James Cole), wants it ready within 6 weeks. Upon hearing of Hutchins’ demands, Coldyron promptly quits his job as head architect of the R.O.T.O.R. program. Coldyron and his lady friend, Penny (Nannette Kuczek) go out to lunch at a place that still exists called Crockett’s, which is part of the Hilton Dallas Lincoln Centre hotel near 635 and Dallas Parkway, fairly close to the Galleria. Being a Dallasite, I enjoyed seeing many familiar locations. I wondered where some of the locations were exactly, such as the convenience stores featured in the film. I found myself wondering if they still were open or if there was a Wal-Mart or Starbucks on those sites now. In one scene, the house in which the Penny character lives is revealed to be on the corner of Calculus Drive and Haydale Drive, which is east of 635, between Marsh and Midway. The filmmakers were nice enough to include the street sign in the establishing shot of this house. Through a series of events, Coldyron’s assistant, Dr. Houghtaling (Stan Moore) becomes the new person in charge of the R.O.T.O.R. project. Through even more zany shenanigans involving a character named Shoeboogie (genius!!) R.O.T.O.R. is accidentally unleashed into the world. R.O.T.O.R. looks like a man and speaks in a garbled computer voice. He commandeers a motorcycle and proceeds to begin performing his duty of judge and executioner. His first victim is an incredibly chauvinistic young man who is driving with his fiancee, Sonia, played by the gorgeous Margaret Trigg, who, unfortunately passed away in 2003. So, anyway, mayhem ensues and a female physicist/bodybuilder shows up in the last 15 minutes to assist Coldyron with what will hopefully be an apprehension of Mr. R.O.T.O.R. Jayne Smith plays Dr. Steele, the physicist/bodybuilder in question. Her character is awesome! All the aforementioned business of seeing Dallas area locations is nice for Dallas residents who, like me, may be interested in seeing parts of the city in 1988. Will the awkward characters, the 80’s light rock, random misplaced explosion sound effects, random chairs set up in a parking garage, physicist/female bodybuilder character, and bad looping be enough for anyone else? I certainly believe so. If this film had been shot in Kansas City, a town I have never visited, I would have still been very much interested. Plus—R.O.T.O.R. is a palindrome! It’s not just a palindrome, though. It’s an example of the elusive acronym palindrome! With this revelation, I believe I may have just converted some skeptics into the rewarding world of R.O.T.O.R. Take this journey with me. Come with me and study with R.O.T.O.R. Like Donald Sutherland did, ask it if it will let you into the second grade.